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4.16.03
If you believe Machiavelli was right, you might be a Republican. If you believe that the government is violating our rights, then support the Patriot Act, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that deficits are bad, but pass tax cuts without corresponding program reductions, you might be a Republican. If you believe that we are fighting this war to defend American values, then want to hang all the war protesters, you might be a Republican.
If you believe in the right to keep and bear arms, but want to destroy Iraq and North Korea for the weapons that they possess, you might be a Republican. If you think mentioning Buddha or Mohammed in schools violates the separation of church and state, but want the kids to keep pledging allegiance to a nation “under God”, you might be a Republican.
If you do not believe in a “vast, right wing conspiracy,” but DO believe in a “vast left wing conspiracy”, you might be a Republican. If you believe that television news is biased and left wing, but believe that Rush Limbaugh and Micheal Savage are fair and balanced, you might be a Republican.
If you believe Donald Rumsfeld is sane, you might be a Republican. If you believe that Clinton was immoral because of his affair with the office staff, but believe Eisenhower was a great man despite his affair with his secretary, you might be a Republican.
If you think it was unfair that Lincoln got shot, but great that Kennedy got shot, you might be a Republican. If you STILL think it is all Clinton’s fault, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that John Ashcroft is really interested in justice, you might be a Republican. If you believe Texans riding around in armed pickup trucks are just expressing their freedoms, but Afghans riding around in armed pickup trucks are a grave threat to America’s freedom, you might be a Republican. AND a redneck.
If you believe anything coming out of Paul Wolfowitz’s mouth, you are seriously deluded, plus maybe a republican. If you believe that Bush prefers war to diplomacy because it is easier to spell, you are almost as cynical as me.
If you believe that anyone who can see through the steaming fetid pile of bovine excrement that passes for GOP rhetoric is a liberal, you might be a Republican. If you believe it is worth destroying a 225 year old alliance with France just to smash a petty two-bit tyrant, you might be a republican.