NAPKIN POWER!!!!

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NAPKIN POWER!!!

The World's Greatest power lies in something we all know and love--The Napkin!!!
Napkin Power!

There is much to know and learn from the ever-wise Napkin. Such as wisdom for GOOD and wisdom for EVIL. The Black Napkins are evil, the White obviously good. There are also Brown (EVIL) and Grey (GOOD) Napkins. But there are increaingly greater amounts of Black Napkins (such as at funerals). Another well known fact about Napkins is that are useful for "Cleaning up spills" or "Wiping-of-the-face." Although Napkins do not appreciate this anymore than we would, they DO realize their purpose in life; To be USED. But none the less there are many more aspects to the Nature and Physique of NAPKINS.

*Note: Wet Napkins DO NOT COUNT!!!

USES FOR NAPKINS:
1. Wipe your face
2. Eat a taco with it.
3. Draw Doodles on it.
4. Use NAPKIN POWER to CONQUER the world!

EVIL NAPKIN: EVIL!!!

GOOD NAPKIN: NICE!!!

WHERE TO GET NAPKINS:
1. At a Fast Food Restaurant.(i.e. Wendy's)
2. At a fancy Restaurant (don't let them see you)
3. At a store (but why spend money?)
4. At a Funeral (hint: NOT a Wedding)

HOW TO USE THE POWER OF THE NAPKIN:
1. Get Napkins (about 50 or so)
2. Sing the Napkin song.
3. Wave Napkins around and dance.
4. Hand napkins to passerbyers or bums.
5. You have unleased the POWER of the NAPKIN!!!!
*Note: Depending on which Napkin type you use, will determine the outcome of the power.

PROPER BURIAL OF NAPKINS
Depending on type of death, there are certain appropriate burial techniques.
· FOR CREMATION:
1. Take deceased napkin and douse in flammable liquid (i.e. Lysol, achohol, lighter fluid)
2. Light using matches, lighter, etc.
3. Say some words of wisdom or pray while it burns.
4. When Napkin is entirley burnt to ashes, scoop them up and spread over landmark. (i.e. Ronald Reagans grave.)
· FOR BURIAL:
1. Place deceased napkin in coffin container.
2. Place coffin in pre-dug hole.
3. Pray or say words of wisdom.
4. Cover hole. (hint- with dirt!)

PROPER USAGE OF NAPKINS:
1.Before using the napkin say something along the lines of: This hurts you more than it hurts me.
2. Use napkin (i.e. wipe face)
3. Bury napkin
4. repeat if needed.

NAPKIN SONG:
*Note: Sung to the Tune of The Can-Can

Napkin-napkin-Napkin-napkin
Nappy Nappy Napkin
Napkin-napkin-Napkin-napkin
Nappy Nappy Napkin
Napkin-napkin-Napkin-napkin

Repeat as needed or directed by your Doctor.